Monday, December 14, 2009

Letter From Santa

I was talking to my friend today and she told me that her 11-year-old daughter "found out" about Santa this year. She asked her dad to tell her the truth. He said, "are you sure you want to know?" "Yes," she replied. So he told her that Santa isn't real.

Soon after, they found a letter to Santa from her that went something like this:

"Dear Santa,

"My parents told me that you are not real and that they are the ones that leave the presents but they are too cheap to leave all the things that you have left..."

I told that story to Tom today so we decided to do a little trickery of our own. The following is the letter that Tom concocted and just left it on their doorstep.

Dear Mackenzie,

One of my elves told me that you’ve been having doubts about me. Apparently you even had "the talk" with your dad… You asked if I am real. From what I heard, he was more than happy to take the credit for all my effort over the years (he’s now on the naughty list for that one). Of course I am real! You’ve seen me in the mall and on TV. Do you think I am faking all that? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be in all of those places? What more do you want to prove that I am real… a letter from me? Well you have it. So, don’t forget me.

From what my elf told me, you think your parents are too cheap to give all the presents I have given you… You see, that’s not exactly fair. I only have to take care of making sure you get what you want one day a year and then I get to run back to the North Pole and plan for the next time. Your parents have to cover all the other expenses –I know it’s their job as parents and all, but I’d take my job anytime. Besides, I get most of my present-buying money from various governments I have sold oil drilling rights to over the years. The polar ice caps were getting too thick and I needed to make things a little warmer up here. You try living in winter all year long… I am tired of it. I tried to buy some property in Florida, but the reindeer were flying too close to the airport… Blitzen actually got hit by a plane. It got pretty ugly –you try finding a replacement for a flying reindeer in Florida. So that pretty much put an end to that and we ended up moving back up here.

Really, it’s pretty sad. I am a grown man forced to spend my days talking with elves and hanging out with flying deer. My only break is reading letters from kids like you. All year long I look forward to the letters, the cookies, and glasses of milk… but NOOOOO! Parents get jealous.

Look, the simple fact is, your parents want more and more credit for things going on in your life, and that’s fine. I am sure eventually they’ll tell you there’s no such thing as leprechauns, or fairies, or the Easter Bunny (he says "hi" by the way).

It’s ok. I (along with the other magical creatures in the world) have gotten used to parents taking the credit. I had hoped that your parents would be different, but it seems that I’ll have to live with that. I just have a two small favors to ask (I think it’s only fair after all the cool stuff I have given you):

1. Make sure to teach your kids about me. It’s a great feeling to have people believe in you. You have been fun to watch grow up. Just know, I will always believe in you.

2. Please send me a letter every now and again. I really like hearing from you, and, while I understand your parents want to play a bigger role in your life (and take credit for all my hard work –it’s fine… I am used to it… I’m over it). Really, I am afraid I will get lonely up here without hearing from you.

I hope you have the merriest of Christmases. It has been one of
the greatest joys to make you smile every Christmas morning.

Forever Your North Pole Friend,

Santa

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